For Valentine’s Day, the answer to the eternal question: What is Love?

Love is

  • a video of a middle-aged woman singing “It’s All Coming Back to Me” with her kids providing backup and throwing confetti as her hair flies wildly. You can just image her announcing “I want to be a rock star” and her partner saying, “Ok, I’ll go get the leaf-blower.” – support other people’s dreams.
  • asking people “would you like the Fortnum and Mason Lunar New Year gift hamper or the Burdick’s Lunar New Year gift crate?” – don’t make assumptions with gifts, make sure people get what they would like
  • being appalled at your co-worker’s unhealthy diet, figuring out the one kind of fruit he likes to eat and giving him one a few times a week for years – don’t condemn, don’t verbally harasses, if you want a situation to change, meet people where they are and do the work
  • killing the spider, taking the green beans off the plate, saying something distracting when someone asks a rude question, applying sunscreen, changing the subject when a sensitive topic comes up in conversation – protect the ones you care about
  • re-watching Casablanca once a year to remember that sometimes the best kind of love is letting your love go
  • buying and installing automatic car starters when you live in a cold climate
  • sharing the french fries
  • making compromises about the temperature in the bedroom (which probably includes buying heated blanket or mattress liners) and offices (which probably includes buying fans or sweaters) – we all have different internal thermostats
  • tipping extravagantly, even to people who don’t deserve it
  • occasionally watching a movie you know you are going to hate to keep someone company (horror movies are the exception to this rule!)
  • never, ever (especially when it is deserved!) saying “I told you so”
  • remembering how your sweetie likes their coffee, tea, hot chocolate or Diet Coke (lots of ice and lime!)
  • not mentioning off-key singing, mixed up choreography, under-spiced food, the too-short hair-cut, the too-bright toe-nail polish or hideously unattractive purse unless specifically asked – love can be saying ” I love you” but it is also in all the things that are NOT said