How and Why to Not Yell at Waitstaff (even when they deserve it)

A famous person was recently in the news because he yelled at waitstaff when they brought the wrong item.

First of all, Darling, never, never yell at waitstaff or anyone who works in a restaurant or hotel. Never.

Second, given that the omelet cost $25, the staff should have conveyed the order correctly, the chef should have made it correctly and the person who brought it to the table should have double-checked that they were serving what was ordered. But you still should not yell.

Now pay attention – don’t refrain from yelling at waitstaff because that is not kind, don’t yell because you are not yelling at the right person.

If the waitstaff is incompetent – it is NOT THEIR FAULT. It is the fault of the person who hired them for a job that they are not able to do. And you are never going to be able to talk to that person. They have already left that business or they are not on the premises or they will refuse to take responsibility.

I live this truth all the time. If a person mails a package regular delivery from the States or UK and at the same time mails a package (at much greater cost) with DHL – the DHL will come later, sometimes as much as a week later. But never have I yelled at a DHL driver as it would be beneath my dignity to do such a thing. As it should be beneath yours.

Some idiot posted completely unrealistic delivery times (3-4 days from USA); some other idiot came up with ridiculous shipping algorithms so that my packages bounce back and forth between shipping hubs 3 or 4 times before leaving the States. Yet another idiot failed to train the drivers so that, on average, it takes 10 calls and 10 messages to receive the package although I work in a large, centrally-located office block that is well known, I have sent the driver a photo of my building and turned on the GPS locater on my phone. When he eventually shows up (1 – 2 hours later than he said he would) I smile, say thank you and that’s the end of it.

But in a restaurant, staring down at an unappetizing plate of something you didn’t order, if you can’t yell – what should you do? Don’t complain, this is your fate. Give up. (So useful to watch the end of Bullet Train and watch it again – fate does not want you to have that banana. Fate wants you to have the wasabi peas.)

Pay for what your ordered, get up and leave. Yes, I know we are all supposed to fight but sometimes it’s better to go away and let the trolls be trolls. Walk outside and get yourself a pretzel or a hotdog. Go try another place – go home and make yourself pancakes. Don’t disrupt your chi and throw your whole day out of balance because the administration of that restaurant gives servers too many tables to take care of.  Your server is not the one at fault and your server will probably not be able to fix what’s wrong.

Give up – go away – have 5 Bellinis for breakfast instead.

Don’t pull karma’s sharp-eyed attention unto you – if you behave badly, karma will give you far worse things than an incorrect omelet to worry about.